If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you. Start by following one simple rule: Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback.
The process is simple, but it does take time and practice - you're creating a new habit, after all. You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. You feel that you have to be perfect or you're a total failure. You see things only as either good or bad. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself.
That evening, you focus only on your plan to do even more tasks and forget about the compliments you received. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. For example, you had a great day at work. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. Not sure if your self-talk is positive or negative? Some common forms of negative self-talk include: